Adjudications

That [Conference League Final] is the last time we will see Malo Gusto as an inverted full back.

Andrey Santos will wear number 16.

That is not the last Man of the Match trophy Cole Palmer will when in a major final.

Jose Mourinho will be in the away dugout at Stamford Bridge at some point in the next season.

Chelsea will field the same starting outfield players from the match away at Nottingham Forest for the Conference League Final

Chelsea will sign two players in the June mini window before the Club World Cup.

Pedro Neto will start up front when Chelsea face Nottingham Forest away on the last day of the season.

Aston Villa, Manchester City, and Newcastle will win 2-0 over their opponents on the last day of the season.

Chelsea will take the lead (at some point) when they play away at Nottingham Forest on the last day of the season.

Marc Cucurella will score against Nottingham Forest in matchweek 38. Cucurella did not score, Levi Colwill did.

Neither Chelsea or Nottingham Forest will qualify for the Champions League.

Manchester City will not beat Bournemouth in matchweek 37.

Chelsea to concede a maximum of 1 goal in the remaining Premier League fixtures. (They conceded 0 in the remaining [2] matches).

Chelsea will go "two for two" and win their respective matches against Manchester United. (The men's team in the Premier League, and the women's in the FA Cup Final).

Three different players are going to play as the number 9 for Chelsea over the course of the 90+ minutes against Manchester United.

Pedro Neto will start up top (not Tyrique George) when Chelsea host Man United.

Chelsea will score only 1 goal in their remaining two Premier League games.

Chelsea will qualify for the Champions League.

The starting goalkeeper in the Conference League Final will be Robert Sanchez.

Enzo Maresca will name an unchanged lineup (same XI that started against Liverpool) when Chelsea travel to Newcastle.

Chelsea will score 1 goal at St. James Park. (Own goals don't count)

Cole Palmer will score or assist in each of Chelsea's final three matches in the Premier League season. Palmer did not provide a goal or assist in the match away at Newcastle.

If Romeo Lavia plays a full season, he will be Chelsea's player of the season next season.

Romeo Lavia will play 90 minutes when Chelsea play Newcastle on May 11th.

Despite all the doom and gloom of Chelsea's remaining run in (4 games left at the time) they will finish 4th and comfortably clear of 6th place.

There will be more than 3 goals when Chelsea host Liverpool in the Premier League.

Caicedo and Lavia will face much derision from the 'jubilant' Liverpool support that they didn't' get their signatures, but one of the two will leave with the player of the match accolade. Palmer received the MOTM award.

Moises Caicedo will be crowned Chelsea's Player of the Year.

Chelsea Women will beat Manchester United by 3 goals in the WSL.

Chelsea will win 0-2 when they travel to Djurgårde in the Conference League Semi-Final first leg.

There will be 2 bookings for time wasting when Chelsea host Everton in the Premier League.

Armando Broja will feature for Chelsea in the Club World Cup.

The crowd will start turning against Robert Sanchez in the 17th minute when Chelsea host Everton in the Premier League.

Tyrique George will start 2 of the remaining 5 Premier League games.

Chelsea Women will race into a 2-0 lead in the first half of the first half (22 minutes) when they host Barcelona in the return leg of the Champions League Semi Final.

Tyrique George will play more Premier League minutes than Christopher Nkunku for the rest of the campaign (5 games remaining). Nkunku did not feature for the last 5 Premier League games,

Somebody in the crowd will shout, "Get it forward", loudly enough for it to be picked up in the broadcast in the match hosting Legia Warsaw.

Freed from the shackles of Premier League rules and regulations, Moises Caicedo is going to celebrate in traditional manner and get a booking from a crunching tackle in the game away at Fulham.

Lap of appreciation after the Manchester Untied game will not be "appreciated" by those in the stadium. (22-23 vibes, less than half the stadium will be there)

Shim Mhueka will start when Chelsea host Legia Warsaw in the Conference League.

Chelsea will get 6 points from the remaining six games.

Chelsea will make the final of the Conference League, but lose.

Rory McIlroy will still record a top 10 finish at the Masters.

We will not see Nkunku take another penalty for Chelsea.

Chelsea will score against Legia Warsaw.

We three (Luke Bosher, Matt Davies-Adams, Liam Twomey) will not be able to predict the Chelsea starting 11 against Legia Warsaw.

We will not see Reece James at LB for the rest of the season.

Sunday's (April 6th) game against Brentford will not finish with a 1-0 score line to either team.

Within the month of April, there will be stories linking Cole Palmer with a "glorious" return to Manchester City to replace De Bruyne. Teamtalk cites a journalist on Substack that states Man City and Liverpool are "sniffing" around and "enquiring" on Palmer.

Colwill's main defensive partner for the rest of the Premier League campaign will be Trevor Chalobah.

Cole Palmer will get a goal involvement if he starts against Tottenham.

The woodwork will be struck at least twice when Chelsea host Tottenham in the Premier League

Chelsea will be caught offside at least three times when Chelsea host Tottenham in the Premier League.

Chelsea will beat their lowest .35 xG total, that they accumulated away at Arsenal, before the end of the season

Cole Palmer, Nicolas Jackson, and Noni Madueke will start Chelsea's next match. (Chelsea v Tottenham)

Chelsea Women will lose the first leg in the WCL against Manchester City, but will win the return and progress to the semi-final.

Chelsea Women will end their League Cup curse and win with a Lauren James winner.

Chelsea best clean sheet record this season is three games. Chelsea reached two, and won't make it to three away against Arsenal.

Chelsea Women will win the League Cup final against Manchester City.

Enzo Maresca will not be surprised when Chelsea host Copenhagen use a back 5 in the Conference League.

Filip Jörgensen will play another Premier League this season.

Tyrique George will score against Copenhagen.

Tyrique George will end the campaign with more assists than Jadon Sancho.

Jamie Vardy will do something provocative and end up on the losing side.

Mathis Amougou will make his second Chelsea appearance in the match away against Copenhagen.

Cole Palmer will make his European Chelsea debut in the match at Copenhagen. He made his debut against Servette.

Robert Sanchez will keep his first Conference League clean sheet in the match at Copenhagen

For the rest of the season, Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall will make more appearances in the Conference League than the Premier League.

Wesley Fofana will start against Leicester.

Chelsea Women will win by two goals against Brighton and one of Fran Kirby or Jelena Čanković will score.

Filip Jörgensen will register his first clean sheet against Southampton.

Southampton will score first against Chelsea.

Cole Palmer will register multiple goal involvements in the next two Premier League games (home v Southampton & home v Leicester).

Chelsea will have a shot on target against Aston Villa.

Chelsea will lose by a 2 goal margin against Aston Villa.

Someone will play up front for Chelsea against Aston Villa. (As an actual striker and not a false 9.)

Cole Palmer will be the most transferred out player for Fantasy Premier League this week.

In one of the next four games before the international break in March, there will be a formation change.

Chelsea will keep one more clean sheet in the league this season.

Chelsea Women's team will win the quadruple.

Nkunku will become vaguely good, and get 5 Premier League goals by the end of the season.

Chelsea will have a chance to avenge the embarrassing quarter final loss in the Conference League.

Chelsea won't win the Conference League.

Nkunku won't score for Chelsea in the Premier League ever again.

Between now (Feb 10th) and the end of the season, Chelsea will have a bottom half attack in terms of goals scored. Chelsea will finish in the bottom 10 in terms of goals scored from Feb 10th to the end of the season.

Chelsea will include Cole Palmer, Mathis Amougou, and Trevor Chalobah and exclude Fofana and Lavia from their Conference League squad.

Robert Sanchez will receive boos and jeers from all four stands during the fourth round tie FA Cup match against Brighton.

The fourth round FA cup tie against Brighton will go to extra time.

Chelsea will finish top 5 but behind Nottingham Forrest.

Chelsea will keep two or fewer clean sheets in the Premier League for the rest of the season.

Shim Mhueka is going to play up front for Chelsea before the ends of the season (any competition).

Cole Palmer will register 2 goal involvements against West Ham.

Chelsea will announce 3 signings before deadline day, Feb. 3rd.

There will be six outgoings before the January transfer window ends. Disasi, Veiga, Felix, Chukwuemeka, Chillwill, Casadei, Vale have left the club in the January transfer window.

Robert Sanchez has made 5 errors leading to goals in the Premier League. There will not be a sixth.

Robert Sanchez will start in goal for match week 24 game against West Ham.

Chelsea are going to finish 9th.

Chelsea will beat Manchester City. (Matchweek 23)

Cole Palmer will score a penalty against Manchester City. (Matchweek 23)

Someone will get sent off in the Manchester City v Chelsea game. (Matchweek 23)

Nicolas Jackson will score at the Etihad.

Trevor Chalobah will finish the season with more goal contributions than Pedro Neto.

Trevor Chalobah will captain Chelsea this season. He captained the side when Chelsea hosted Djugarden.

We will see an all Cobham defense between now (Jan. 16th) and the end of the season.

There will be boos at halftime for the Monday night game (Chelsea v Wolves, match week 22).

Trevor Chalobah will play more Premier League minutes than Axel Disasi and Tosin between now (Jan. 16th) and the end of the season.

We've seen the last Christopher Nkunku penalty. (Nkunku missed a pen away at Legia Warsaw).

Joao Felix will score double figures for this season but won't score another Premier League goal. Felix did not reach double figures for goals.

We've seen the last celebratory balloon of Nkunku's Chelsea career. (We saw Nkunku do the balloon celebration against Southampton MW 27.)

Four Cobham graduates will get minutes against Morecambe. The match only featured two Cobham graduates - Reece James & Tyrique George.

Reece James will start against Morecambe in the third round of the FA Cup.

Somebody will score their first ever Chelsea goal against Morecambe.

Between now (Jan. 6th) and the end of the season, Josh Acheampong will get more Premier League minutes than Axel Disasi or Tosin. Acheampong got more minutes for Chelsea than Disasi as Disasi was loaned out.

Jadon Sancho will end the season with more goal contributions than Pedro Neto. Both players ended up with 15 g/a in all comps.

Cole Palmer won't play a single minute in the FA Cup this season.

Chelsea will finish above Nottingham Forest in the table.

Axel Disasi and Nkunku will not be here next season (25-26).

Chelsea will have exactly 2 players in the PFA team of the year.

Everton will set a Premier League record for most 0-0 in a season.

Everton will keep the most clean sheets in the Premier League.

A Chelsea player will finish as the top scorer in the Conference League.

Josh Acheampong will play more Premier League minutes than Reece James this season.

By the time Chelsea are in the knockout phase (of the Conference League), Chelsea will still be second place in the Premier League.

There will be a serious discussion, among Chelsea fans at least, about the future of Trevor Chalobah come the end of the season.

We will never hear from Maresca that Chelsea are in a title race.

Thiago Silva signs on loan for the rest of the season in January 25.

Renato Veiga is going to score at least 5 headers this season. (currently at 2). Veiga joined Juventus on loan for the remainder of the 24-25 season.

The average age of the starting 11 against Shamrock is going to be under 21 years of age. Actual average age was 22.3

Producer Lucy to return to the UK missing some kind of finger or toe due to the cold.

Chelsea will keep fewer than 10 clean sheets this season.

Chelsea will not see Benoit Badiashile as the right sided CB this season.

Marc Cucurella will announce a new boot deal this week. (week of 12/09/25)

There will be over 3.5 goals in the Tottenham v Chelsea game (Matchweek 15).

Chelsea will beat their 2009/10 season record of scoring 5 or more goals in 7 matches across all competitions. (currently at 4)

Chelsea won't lose again in 2024.

Enzo Maresca will win two more manager of the month awards this season.

Nicolas Jackson is going to average a goal a game over the next 6 league fixtures (ending with Ipswich away on Dec. 30th).

Cole Palmer won't be PFA player of the year. (Mo Salah will get it.)

Chelsea will beat Aston Villa (Matchweek 13) by at least 2 goals.

Christopher Nkunku to finish as Chelsea's top scorer this season with 25 goals with 18 goals in the Conference League.

Jörgensen to replace Sanchez within the month (of December) as Chelsea's number 1.

Robert Sanchez is going to end the Premier League season with more yellow cards than Levi Colwill.

Enzo Maresca is going to outlast Ruud van Nistelrooy.

Chelsea will finish top of the most penalties conceded table.

Enzo Maresca will give the animated "Pep talk" to Stephy Mavididi as they are leaving the pitch at full time.

Reece James will start at right back against Leicester.

Wout Faes will be credited with an assist for one of Chelsea's goals on Saturday (11/23 v Leicester).

Moises Caicedo is going to be voted Chelsea's player of the season.

Chelsea will not lose again in 2024.

Malo Gusto will not score this season.

Tosin will score more goals for Chelsea than Enzo Fernandez.

Sam Rak-Sakyi to be sold for pure profit in the next 18 months.

Enzo Fernandez is gonna come up with more assists from corners than anybody else.

Chelsea Women's team will have an invincible season in the WSL.

Robert Sanchez is going to top the charts for most penalties given away.

Nicolas Jackson is gonna run it back from last year (2023) and he will successfully avoid getting a 5th Premier League yellow card and incurring a ban before the deadline on game week 19.

In the 25-26 season, Joao Felix is gonna move, is gonna be "Riyadh season" [transferred to a team that plays in Saudi Arabia].

Chelsea's #1 goalkeeper at the start of next season [25-26] is going to be someone other than Robert Sanchez and Filip Jörgensen.

From this point, starting Sunday, Nov. 3rd, Romeo Lavia will start more Premier League games than Enzo Fernandez.

Reece James is the Enzo Fernandez quarterback passing replacement in this team.

Moises Caicedo will be in the Premier League Team of the Season conversation at least.

Chelsea will win 2-0 on St. James (Newcastle away in Carabao Cup) on Wednesday.

Mudryk will finish the season with more goals and assists in all competitions than Jadon Sancho.

Mudryk will still not start a Premier League game this side of Christmas.

The year 2029, Chelsea have just pummeled the Riyadh Royals 4-0 on match day 47 of the "All Hail the Glorious Nation of Saudia Arabia Inter-Continental Challenge Cup in association with Aramco". After a goal and two assists, the AI bot that now hosts Straight Outta Cobham is moved to ask, "Was this a game that was a turning point in the Chelsea career of Mykhailo Mudryk?"

Chelsea will beat their Premier League record for yellow cards.

JRK (Johanna Rytting Kaneryd) is now CFC's WSL MVP.

We will not see Christopher Nkunku as a "left winger" for a long time, possibly, hopefully ever. Nkunku was played there against Villa MW 26.

There will be at least 4 ex-Chelsea bosses at the World Cup.

Come May, Chelsea will be respecting the point they earned against fellow Champions League qualifiers Nottingham Forrest.

There will be no more athletically relatable moment in the Premier League than James Ward-Prowse diving on the ball and grabbing it in both hands after almost falling over.

Chelsea will beat their Premier League record for yellow cards.

Nkunku will win the Conference League Golden Boot (should such a thing exist).

Nkunku will score more than 20 goals in all competitions. He ended the campaign with 14 goals.

Callum Hudson-Odoi will score this Sunday, October 6th, against Chelsea. (Chelsea v Nottingham Forrest)

Enzo Maresca will outlast Ten Hag as head coach.

Cole Palmer will end the season as Chelsea's top scorer in all comps.

Chelsea has shed themselves of the "banter club" image. Man United is the only remaining "banter club"

Christopher Nkunku will not start against Brighton.

Marc Cucurella will do something "provacative" in front of the lower tier Shed End for match against Brighton. "A seagull gesture, ages over a throw-in"

Moises Caicedo will get 'Man of the Match' against Brighton

Mudryk will get subbed at 58 minutes with little impressions on the game.

Marc Guiu will have a glorious opportunity and somehow it won't go in.

Carney Chukwuemeka played well

Axel Disasi will not play any Premier League minutes at center back this season

Jadon Sancho will end this Premier League season (24-25) with more minutes on the left wing than Mudryk and Neto combined.

Nicolas Jackson finishes as Chelsea top scorer.

Nicolas Jackson will beat last season's tally of goals (14 g in Premier League, 17 g all comps).

Chelsea are going to win more matches on xG this season than any other team other than Man City

Chelsea will have less than a handful (3) of clean sheets before the New Year.

Chelsea draw with TNS in the Conference League, tabloid headline follows up with "TNS, FFS"

Chelsea are not going to win the Conference League with that squad.

By the end of the season, Levi Colwill is a starting center back for England

By the time this podcast is released (Aug. 26th), The Athletic will have released an article ranking all Premier League towns and Cities according to shitness.

It will be many weeks before we see Mudryk start a Premier League game again.

Simon Johnson will be more positive than the fan base this season (24-25).

Malo Gusto will play the most minutes in the Chelsea squad this season.

Raheem Sterling will be a Chelsea player in September.